Alone
by Charlz93
Summary: Never before has Connie felt so alone and vulnerable. But is it the last person she expected to be the one saving her?
1. Chapter 1

*This is just a short first chapter to see how people feel about where this fic is headed. Enjoy & Please comment! :) *

Exhaling steadily she tried to compose herself as she stared out of her office window. This feeling of having no control was one she feared above anything else and she was quickly losing it. Her life had taken far too many missiles in such a short space of time and she felt the pillars of her entity collapsing quickly. Looking down briefly she let out a long and shaky breath.

"Come on, Connie. Pull yourself together." The small whisper followed her breath closely as she regained her posture. Quickly turning around, she grabbed the fresh shirt from her desktop and turned to face the window again as she began changing her top. This mini panic episode she was experiencing was kicked off by something as trivial as a patient coughing up blood all over her white blouse. It was the icing on the cake, in a way. The final straw, kicking her off into an emotional rage as she'd stormed into her office with blood spattered across her shirt.

Without any sort of warning her office door flew open as Sam let himself in, his eyes glued to some patient notes in his hand. "Connie-" His sentence couldn't even be finished as he brought his eyes up to see her bare back. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry I didn't-"

"For God's sake, haven't you ever heard of knocking, Mr Strachan?" Her voice quivered slightly with frustration as she hurriedly tried to cover herself. But it was too late, he'd already seen. She could tell by his silence.

He stayed quiet for a second, shocked by what he was seeing. "What, uh-" He shut the door quietly before rubbing the back if his neck. "What happened to your back?"

"Nothing." Remaining stern she finished the buttons at the front of her blouse and turned to face his direction, not once letting her almost teary eyes meet his.

"Doesn't look like nothing, you sure about that?" Raising his brow questioningly he moved closer towards her desk as she retook her seat.

"Look, it's nothing. Just-" She shook her head frustratedly. "Just forget it, okay?" She looked down and rested her elbows on her desk. A loud silence washed over the room before he opened his mouth again.

"Y'know, if you ever need to talk-"

"And speaking of backs, why exactly is Mr Cleaver still laying on his in one of my beds?" She cut him off quickly and glanced up at him, the fatigue and stress visible in her facial expression. "I asked you to discharge him hours ago. We need the bed, Mr Strachan. I will not tell you again, do you understand?"

Her sharp words drowned his voice out. Up until today she'd taken to calling him 'Sam' rather than 'Mr Strachan'. And now, hearing his last name escape her mouth was a strange feeling. Ever since they'd come to an agreeable arrangement with Grace, they'd actually being getting along and not just in the tolerable way. They were being nice to one another. But, for some unknown reason, she seemed to be retreating from their developing relationship. Drawing back from the possibility of getting any closer. Neither of them had any romantic intentions, they just wanted to get along for Grace's sake, especially with her being almost 3 now.

"Yes, Mrs Beauchamp. I understand." The defeat was more than obvious in his words as he too called her by her last name and slowly backed away from her desk. "I'll get on to it now."

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him she felt her walls of protection crumbling down. He'd seen the bruises and marks on her back, there was no doubt about it and with him being as caring and as concerned as he was, she knew he wasn't going to let it go.

Out on the ward Sam was having a hard time erasing the previous image from his mind. Her back wasn't just a little bit bruised, these were harsh markings. Enough to have caused further internal damage. But how did it happen? That was the question eating at his mind. Frowning to himself he tried to shake the thoughts away before becoming aware of a familiar voice nearing.

"Ah, Mr Hope." He jogged over to him, eager to speak.

Elliot looked even more distracted than usual as he fiddled hopelessly with his tie. "Now isn't a good time, Mr Strachan I have meeting to attend. Might I ask, is it important? Or can it wait?" He continued to walk and talk, encouraging Sam to follow.

"Actually, it's about Connie." He raised his hands quickly. "And yes, I know you two aren't speaking right now for whatever reason, but I'm really worried about her."

"Ah, yes. Well over the years, Mr Strachan, I have come to learn that pressing her for details never works." He stopped suddenly and turned to face a fretting Sam. "She is and always will be a closed book, Sam. No matter how close you get to her." He sighed wistfully. "I know you two have shared a...physical relationship, shall we call it but even I struggle to get her to open up sometimes. Whatever it is you're worried about her for, I'm sure that if it was desperately terrible she would confide in someone. There's no need to worry about her."

"But that's exactly _why_ I'm worried, you two aren't exactly on talking terms at the moment and you're the only friend she really has-" He paused for second. "I say that without trying to sound rude."

"No, no you're absolutely right. I'm the only person she'll open up to and she'll soon learn to regret biting the hand that tries to help her." He blinked sadly remembering their recent fallout before folding his lips and quickly returning to the moment. "Look, don't worry about her. She's a strong person and can handle herself. Just leave her be." Patting Sam's shoulder comfortingly he continued on down the corridor, leaving Sam stood alone. Their little chat hadn't relieved any of his worry whatsoever and he had a deep, gut-wrenching feeling that something seriously wrong was going on with her.

"Sam?" He jumped a little as a soft, feminine voice approached him from behind. It was Chrissie. "So, are you just going to stand here all day and leave the hard work to us? Or can Mr Cleaver finally be relieved from our care?" She smiled warmly, before noticing the look on his face. "Sam? What's wrong?"

"Hm?" His eyes made contact with hers, suddenly realising he hadn't really been listening to a word of what she'd said.

"I asked if you were ok? You just seem a bit distracted." Her brow furrowed as she bit her lip with concern.

"No, no I just have a lot to get on with today, that's all." He covered his worries and smiled back at her.

"Well skulking around in corridors isn't going to fix that, is it?" She laughed and pushed him hard. "Come on, go and deal with Mr Cleaver before his heart really does give out." Jokingly playing with him she shook her head and returned to the nurses station, watching him closely as he disappeared around the corner.

Discharging Mr Cleaver was more difficult than he'd anticipated. The gentleman was adamant he needed surgery straight away when both himself and Mrs Beauchamp had agreed that wasn't the best option for him. In the end, however, his estranged daughter made an appearance and magically made him change his mind. He was finally gone.

"Nice work, Mr Strachan." She smiled again. "And it only took, what?" Glancing at her watch she quickly resumed her sentence. "Three hours?"

"He was a pain in the arse and I'm more than glad to see the back of him." He laughed tiredly and leant on the nurses station desk before letting a yawn escape.

"Tired?"

"You can say that again. These hours are cruel for man of my age."

"Oh shut-up." She laughed and shook her head before becoming serious. "Here comes Connie, let me look busy before she sinks her teeth in. I'll catch up with you later." She gave him a reassuring wink before grabbing the notes she needed and heading off down the corridor.

"Mr Strachan." She barked those two famous words and waited for him to turn and face her. "A word please? Now."

Watching her march into the side room he rolled his eyes, not knowing what type of bollocking he was about to get and what for. Nevertheless, he followed her orders and entered the side room, shutting the door behind himself. There was something different about her authority though, it was without a doubt still extremely threatening but there was a glint of self-doubt in her eyes. Almost as if she wasn't 100% sure of herself.

"Are you deliberately trying to make me angry?"

"What?" His face wrinkled with confusion.

"You do _not _go behind my back and discuss my personal issues with other staff members, do you understand?"

"Connie I-"

"No." She raised her hand. "I don't want to hear it. From now on, you just keep your mouth shut." Her forceful words were weakened by the quiver in her voice and the tears in her eyes that were verging on falling. She looked broken. She knew he could see through her facade by the look on his sweet and concerned face and thus, not wanting to be questioned any further she didn't let him respond before brushing past him and leaving him stood completely clueless.

Over the next few days he tried to keep a safe distance between himself and Connie whilst still trying to check up on her. Nobody else seemed to feel she was behaving any different but for some reason it seemed so obvious to him. She was less alert, less grumpy and even less available. It seemed as though she wasn't all there. She looked distant, like she had something playing over in her mind constantly.

"Sam?" He jumped out of his thoughts and looked at Joseph. "Are you assisting today or shall I look for someone else?"

"No, no I'm definitely assisting. Don't you worry your little head Joseph."

"Oh, well I, uh, I wasn't worrying. I was merely inquiring." His awkwardness was the most uncomfortable thing he'd ever experienced. He'd rather have Connie screaming at him than have to stand and converse with him. It was painful.

"Alright, whatever you say. I'll go and get scrubbed up. See you in theatre." He nodded politely in Joseph's direction and walked away, hopefully this Mitral Valve Replacement would fly by in no time.

Back in her office, Connie was sat in a deathly silence. Shock didn't even begin to describe the feeling she was experiencing right now. To be on the receiving end of a 'Bad News Call' was something she'd never experienced. Her heart felt heavy and her chest was tight but nothing would come out. Her voice was stuck and her eyes refused to cry. She knew her Dad's health wasn't on top form but she was more than positive he had a few good years left, obviously she was wrong. Still clutching on to the phone she looked down shakily before putting it back on the receiver and looking towards Elliot's desk. She needed him right now but after their argument she wasn't sure she'd ever have him back. Her whole world felt like it was crumbling around her and for the first time in a long time she felt completely helpless. she had no power and no control over what was happening to her right now and quite honestly, it scared her to death. This empty feeling she'd been experiencing over the last couple of weeks just became a whole lot worse, she felt like a shell of the woman she used to be. This was it, the final missile to hit her life and have her on her knees at breaking point. Blinking slowly she leant back and let out a dry and wobbly breath, but her sorrowful silence was soon interrupted by her bleeper.

"Joseph, he's losing too much blood. I can't see a thing. Suction please." Sam's words became sharp with frustration. "Page Mrs Beauchamp, now."

"I already did, she's on her way."

"Good. Let's just keep him stable until she gets here." He looked up at a worried Joseph, his eyes giving away his guilt as he stared at him over his mask. He'd accidentally nicked an artery and neither of them could locate the bleed due to the amount of blood pooling around the heart. "Dr Rose, how's he looking?"

"Not good, let's just hope for everyone's sake Mrs Beauchamp arrives before-" His sentence was cut short as the double doors flew open.

"What's happened?" Her voice was small and hoarse, growing only a fraction louder as she approached the table.

"It was supposed to be a simple MVR but-"

"I, regrettably, nicked an artery." Joseph owned up to his mistake instantly, waiting for her to explode but to everyone's surprise she said nothing and simply took her position by Sam's side.

"And now you can't locate where the bleed is?"

"Yes, he's losing too much blood." Sam spoke and looked down at her, she looked rattled but not in an irritable way.

"Let me have a look." Grabbing a clamp she handed the suction tool to Sam and let him clear the area up for her. Once it was less bloody she reached in, finding the bleed almost instantly before attempting to clamp it. Fully aware of how badly her hands were shaking she tried to complete the task quickly but Sam was watching intently.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, Mr Strachan." Still asserting her authority she felt her temperature begin to rise as she got more flustered. She could feel everyone's eyes on her in this strange situation she was experiencing. Her mind wasn't fully with it and she knew deep down that her work performance was bound to be deeply affected by what was happening in her life right now. Still struggling to clamp the artery she glanced sideways, catching a glimpse of the patient's face. And that was it. Everything shut down. Her eyes locked on to his cruel face as the vicious memories flooded her mind. Her brain stopped ticking, her hands dropped the surgical instruments and she felt like her heart doubled in speed as her breathing hitched.

"Mrs Beauchamp?" Dr Rose's concerned voice wasn't heard by her and neither was Joseph's.

"Mrs Beauchamp, he's losing far too much blood. We need to clamp the artery, now." Getting ready to take her place he moved forward as Sam spoke.

"Connie?" Finally, someone managed to pull her from the panicked trance she was in. His hushed whisper caught her attention the most but she wasn't taking any notice, her own breathing felt so loud she could hardly focus.

"Sorry." Gasping the words out she took a step back before locking eyes with Sam, he looked terrifyingly worried. The only part of her face visible was her eyes and the terror in them honestly scared him. "I can't." Clutching at her chest and shaking her head she turned swiftly and ripped her mask and cap off before escaping the claustrophobic atmosphere.

"Connie?!" Sam turned to look at Joseph, luckily he'd jumped in to take her place, avoiding an unnecessary death in theatre. "Joseph, the artery is clamped and I'll page Mr Hope." He moved away from the table and began pulling his operating scrubs off. "You can handle things until he gets here."

"No, Mr Strachan I honestly don't think that's a good-" It was too late, he was gone.

Racing out of the theatre room his eyes scanned the corridor looking for her, she was nowhere to be seen. Taking a guess he headed in the direction to her office, assuming that's where she would be going but he didn't have to look any further. As soon as he rounded the corner he spotted her leaning against the hand railing as she stared out of the window. Approaching her slowly, her erratic breathing became louder and more noticeable.

"Connie?" He reached his hand out and rested it on her arm. "Connie, talk to me. What's going on?" He became more worried when she grasped at her chest, the tears were visible now but she wouldn't look at him. In fact she was making every effort to face the other way, desperate for him not to see her like this. "Look, just calm down and take a deep breath, okay?" He didn't know what to do, but soon enough his medical training took over.

"I can't." She let more tears escape as she struggled to steady her breathing. "I can't breathe." Her words were warped by her inability to take in any air but before he could ask another question her body fell limp as her eyes rolled back. Quickly stepping in to support her body he gently brought her to the ground before glancing to the right in a panic, he could see Ric Griffin at the nurses station talking to Donna. "Can I get some help over here, please?!" He yelled out to them, catching their attention immediatley. Both of them moved down the corridor swiftly, Ric's steps speeding up when he realised it was Connie on the floor.

"What's happened?" He knelt down to their level as Sam moved her into the recovery position. "She was really struggling to breathe, I think she's passed out and her pulse is fairly rapid." His voice was shaky and both Ric and Donna picked up on it.

Ric checked her over extremely quickly. "Alright, we need to move her to a side-room. Now. And somebody page Mr Hope."

"I'll sort that out." Eager to help, Donna leapt up and set off jogging down the corridor before disappearing out of sight.

"What exactly happened?"

"Honestly? I don't know. She freaked out in theatre and left, I found her here gasping for air."

"Asthma?" Ric's face contorted with confusion.

"No, no I think this was something else." He kept his eyes fixed on her, waiting for Donna return.

He _knew_ something wasn't right. If only he'd listened to his gut instinct the first time.

[To Be Continued...]


	2. Chapter 2

***This site is all new to me, I'm used to posting on blogger so please bear with me lol I also want to say thank you to the people who left reviews on my first chapter, I'm so grateful! Thank you! I hope this next chapter is okay for you guys :)* **

"Is that important?" Sam bowed his head towards Ric, who was looking at his bleeper as it sang out in his hand.

"Unfortunately, yes." He sighed loudly. "I'm needed downstairs in theatre." Folding his lips he looked to the floor. "But I trust you can handle things from here?"

"Of course."

"Ok, I'll come back later. Keep me updated." He gave Sam a small smile before heading out of the room. It was just him now. Donna had indeed done her best to try and find Elliot but he was tied up in theatre. Thankfully, there was nothing gravely wrong with Connie from what their basic examinations had told them. She'd just passed out, possibly due to her erratic breathing. But that didn't explain what was going on with her at the moment, although deep down Sam had a strong inkling.

His thoughts quickly ceased when he heard movement next to him. She was awake.

"You're okay, you just passed out." He stepped over to the bed quickly, noticing the worried look on her face as she came to. "You weren't out for long, maybe 10 minutes or so." He stepped back when she appeared calmer. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a zoo animal." Huffing loudly she looked away from him. "How many people have been in and out of here?"

"Actually, just myself and Ric so there's no need to worry." Trying to reassure her of her privacy he glanced down at his feet before summoning the courage to speak again. "Can you remember what happened?"

"Look, all of this is really quite unnecessary. I'm fine." Trying to downplay the situation she smiled weakly before sitting up further in an attempt to get off the bed. "I probably just need to eat something, it's been a long day."

"If that's the case then what harm is a simple examination going to do? It'll take 15 minutes at the most."

"Yes, 15 minutes of my time that could have been better spent on something more productive." She shook her head. "I don't need an examination, I'm fine."

"And those bruises on your back, those are fine too are they?" He reversed the situation, making her stop instantly as she reached the door. "You can pretend all you want, Connie but I know what I saw."

"You have no right-"

"No right to what? Be concerned for the mother of my child?" Raising his voice quickly he took a moment to simmer after seeing her head bow as she gripped the door handle, eager to escape this confrontation.

"This has _nothing_ to do with Grace."

"It has everything to do with Grace when you're putting everything else before your own health!"

"You know what? This caring father figure suits you, Sam, it really does but where I draw the line at is _you_ lecturing _me _on how to take care of _my_self!" Finally snapping she'd released the door handle from her vice-like grip and now had him locked into a deathly stare as she curled each word out of her mouth angrily. She had an incredible ability to lace even the nicest of words with a venomous sting, but these were sharp and threatening sentences.

"Oh, here we go." He laughed humourlessly and shook his head. "You've already got your mental list prepared, haven't you? What is it you'll bring up first, hm?" He bit back, taking a step towards her as he began listing things off with his fingers. "Alcohol poisoning? STD's maybe? Or even the cancer? I mean all are pretty bad aren't they? Especially the big 'C' word." He gasped theatrically, the sarcasm falling from his mouth with ease. "How _inconsiderate _of me, I mean God only knows how that messed up your schedule. Because that's just it, isn't it Connie? It's always about _you_." Not giving her a chance to hit back he continued to speak. "You know, people make mistakes, Connie. Not everybody is perfect as I imagine you think you are-"

"That's not true." Her voice quavered as she interrupted him, steadying herself against the end of the bed. Unlike her, he felt the guilt pangs hit hard when yelling at someone and quickly retreated from the heated argument upon noticing her swaying stance. Breathing out sharply he attempted to help her stay balanced but she snatched away from his touch.

"Don't!" Once again struggling to take in any air she felt her body heating up as panic kicked in. What was happening to her? The not knowing part was what scared her the most, along with the vulnerable feeling that washed over her whilst her hands trembled in time with her rapid heart beat. He reached out a second time and was shot down again. "Don't...Just, don't touch me." Her stifled sentence was still comprehendible as she gasped even harder now, he was making the situation worse.

"Let me help you!" Growing frustrated with her stubbornness he acted against her will, grabbing her upper arm firmly and guiding her to a chair before handing her a paper bag. "Here, do yourself a favour and use it." She reluctantly took it, not caring anymore but merely wanting this feeling of not being in control to disappear. He crouched by her side, although still furious he was undoubtedly concerned. Watching with anticipation as she held the bag up to her face. She was hyperventilating and this, paired with the other symptoms, only confirmed his earlier suspicions but this was only a small part of the issue.

"Oh!" Jumping almost out of his skin, Elliot nearly dropped the tonne of paperwork resting in his chubby arms as he recuperated from the fright. "Mr Strachan, you startled me." Chuckling slightly he shut his office door behind himself and turned to face Sam, who was resting lazily against Connie's forever tidy desk. "Was there, uh, something I could help you with?" He set the papers down messily on his own unorganised desk.

"Where were you?"

"I'm sorry?" He tilted his head inquisitively.

"Today. Both Ric and myself paged you and you never showed up." His tone was dry, matching perfectly with his unamused facial expression.

"Well, as I told Nurse Jackson, I was tied up in theatre all day. Back to back procedures I'm afraid." His voice was small, he was uncertain about where this was headed but he didn't like it already. "You managed to cope without me I assume?" Sitting himself down behind his desk he reached for the box of stale doughnuts still sat staring at him.

"It wasn't a case of whether we could cope without you or not but having you there may have improved the situation a little." Remaining icy he studied the older male as he snacked on the heavily sugared treat. "It was Connie."

"Well, I'm sure if Mrs Beauchamp had needed my assistance today she would have made sure she got it, she has a way with her words." He glanced upwards momentarily. "What was it she said to me not two weeks ago?" Pausing in thought as if attempting to answer his own question he snapped his greasy fingers. "Ah, yes. _I don't need advice from a man incapable of letting go of his own past." _He nodded in agreement with himself. "Yes, I believe that's what she said. So, I'm gathering she managed to escape with triumph and save yet another life today?"

"Actually no." Growing tired of Elliot's petty talk he stood up straight and folded his arms. "In fact, I'm going to take a wild guess and say she probably hasn't had the best day today."

"Alright, look." He removed his glasses and sat back in his chair. "We all lose patients and, obviously, it seems to affect her more than anyone else but there's simply nothing I could have done. I was needed in theatre all day." Fitting in another jibe he remained solid with his argument. He wanted to stand firm and teach Connie a valuable lesson about accepting help when it's needed.

"This has nothing to do with patients, Mr Hope."

"So what then? She's still licking the wound that is her damaged pride?" He shook his head frustratedly. "I'm sure she'll bounce back quickly, she seems to be quite good at that if you haven't already noticed."

"I'm not so sure about that." Sam raised his brows, only slightly expressing his disappointment in Elliot's behaviour. This argument between he and Connie had obviously caused him some grief.

"And why might that be, Mr Strachan?"

"Well, I don't know."He rubbed his stubbled chin in-between words. "I think suffering a full blown anxiety attack in theatre is something anyone, including Connie, would struggle to simply _bounce back _from."

Elliot's throat closed up as a one-worded question barely managed to pass his crumb patterned lips. "What?"

"I figured I might be able to speak to you and maybe find out what triggered the attacks today-"

"_Attacks_?" He blinked worriedly. "You mean, there was more than one?" Pure concern layered his words as he got to his feet, brushing the crumbs from his blue shirt.

"Yes, but thankfully the second time I managed to calm her down before she passed out."

"Where is she?"

"A side-room on Darwin, that is if she hasn't declared herself well and left already."

"I wouldn't put it past her." Elliot let a sad smile appear before looking down. "Does she know you paged me?"

"No." Making his way over to the door he turned to look at Elliot again. "She was already furious that even a slight fuss was being made. I'm about to head back that way and talk to her about what happened."

"You mean-"

"Yes, I haven't even told her about any of this yet." He paused anxiously. "That's why I came to see you, I need your help."


	3. Chapter 3

*I'm not sure how people are liking this fic but I'll continue to post both here and on my blogger account. :) Hope this next chapter is okay for you guys! Please read & review! :) Also, any segments in _italics _are flashbacks.*

The days passed drearily and neither Elliot or Sam had managed to get through to her. She seemed even more distant than ever but nevertheless things still went on as normal. That was something that always amazed him. Her ability to act and appear as though nothing was going on, such as when Grace was born or when she was going through a rough patch with Michael. She just seemed to battle on regardless. He approached her cautiously about the anxiety attack situation but she dismissed the possibility and told him to stop harassing her. Not another word had been exchanged between the pair since.

"Sam?" Maria called his name out for the third time, trying to distract him from whatever daydream he was in. "God, some night you must've had." She laughed before shoving her hands into her pockets. "You look like a zombie."

"Ah, the compliments just roll off your tongue don't they?" He smirked tiredly and turned on his heel, walking along with her down the corridor.

"Sorry, I didn't...I didn't mean it in a bad way, I was just-"

"It's fine, Maria. I was kidding." He laughed slightly at her awkwardness, causing her to smile too.

"Well, I don't know about you but I could really do with a drink."

"You know what? You just read my mind." Glimpsing up ahead his eyes landed on her broken posture, even the way she held herself was crumbling. His smile slowly turned into a concerned frown. "I've just got some things to finish off up here first. I'll, uh, I'll catch you up yeah? You get the first round in, I'll get the next."

"Sure, I'll see you down there." Smiling eagerly she sauntered off to the right and into the lift, leaving him stood gazing at Connie. She was completely away with the fairies, staring off into the night sky out of one of the many 6th floor windows. His heart sank slightly upon seeing her look so troubled, it only sank further as he got closer to her.

Sliding up next to her, he too began to stare out of the window as he spoke. "Long day?"

"Yeah, something like that." Her shoulders raised as she crossed her arms tightly across herself, her green scrubs wrinkling up slightly.

"You look tired, you finished for the night?"

"Once I've conquered the mountain of paperwork littering my office, yes." There was quiet again, nothing but the night-time hospital sounds to fill in the gaping silence but his voice soon disrupted that.

"Look, I don't know what you're going through but if ever or whenever you're ready to talk, just know that I'm here." His sweet offering touched her, she'd be lying aggressively if she denied that but it still wasn't enough for her to start confiding in him. It was too dangerous. Noting her silence and refusal to look at him, he sighed and squeezed her shoulder gently before moving past her, heading back on his way down the dimly-lit corridor.

"Sam?" Her tired voice stopped him in his tracks before he even managed to travel as far as 3 steps. Turning to glance at her immediately she shied away again before speaking, rather nervously he noted. "There is actually something I wanted to ask you. Well, more of a favour really."

"Sure, what is it?" He was a tad disappointed, he honestly thought she was about to open up but any kind of communication was a step in the right direction to him.

"It's about Grace, I was wondering if you'd be able to have her tomorrow as well as the rest of the weekend?"

"Wow." He smiled. "Need you even ask? I'd love to, you know I would."

She could sense his sentence was lingering. "But?"

"But nothing, I'd be more than happy to have her." He trailed off for a moment. "You've picked up some extra shifts?"

"Um, no. Not exactly." Scraping her bottom lip between her teeth she turned her gaze back to the dark window. "I just have some things I need to deal with, that's all."

"What kind of things?" He moved back towards her, treading carefully with where his questions were headed.

"I, uh, better get back to that paperwork. Have a nice night, Mr Strachan." Speaking lowly she didn't give him a second glance before she turned and walked away slowly, disappearing out of sight as she turned a corner.

Half of him wanted to chase after her but the more hesitant side of him wanted to give her some space. Understanding how she worked as a person he decided against following her, it'd only cause more grief for the both of them. He couldn't shake her from his mind though, and thinking of Grace too. This must be having some sort of effect on her. His mind continued to race as he carried on down the corridor when his thoughts suddenly ceased.

"Ah!" Balling his fist and clenching his teeth he stopped in his tracks. "Car-seat." He turned smoothly on one foot and walked back on himself in the same direction Connie had headed. This happened almost every single time he picked her up. Last time he'd arrived to collect her, Connie was indeed working and he was left without a car-seat. He really needed to invest in one of his own very soon. Making a mental note to himself he slowed his pace down as he approached her office, it was dimly lit and the door was open only slightly. He could hear her voice as she spoke on the phone.

"...How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me?" There was a pause whilst the person on the other end of the line responded. By the sounds of it she interrupted whoever it was, talking more authoritatively this time. "I. Don't. Care." Her emotions began to take over as she inhaled shakily and spoke for a final time. "Just leave me alone!"

Before he could anticipate it, she slammed her mobile on to her desk before leaning against it defeatedly. He could tell by her posture alone that she was crying.

"Connie?" She jumped upon hearing him speak as he let himself in, shutting the door quietly.

"Oh for god's sake, can't I have _one minute _to myself in this bloody hospital?" Struggling to harness her emotions she quickly swiped at the hot tears rolling down her cheeks and faced away from him. She looked completely exhausted. "What do you want, Sam?"

"I forgot Grace's car-seat..."His voice faded to nothing as the sound of her sharp breaths filled the small room. "Is...everything okay?"

She let a dry laugh out before taking a seat behind her desk. "Yes, everything is great. Wonderful, in fact." Shaking her head she looked up at him apologetically before sighing. "Sorry, the car-seat...I'll, uh, I'll leave it with the nanny. You can collect it in the morning when you pick Grace up." Finally managing to control the tears she sniffled lightly before both of them had their attention drawn to her vibrating mobile as it buzzed on her desk.

"Somebody seems desperate to talk. Are they bothering you?" Furrowing his brow harshly he stepped further into the room in an attempt to see the caller ID but she grabbed it quickly and declined the call.

"No, just another wrong number." She smiled in an attempt to cover her deceit. "That's the fifth time today, I should really see to it before it becomes even more of a nuisance."

"Right." He wasn't buying anything she was saying but before he was able to speak some more the incessant ringing interrupted their conversation once again. This time she answered, making sure to cover the speaker with her hand.

"Excuse me, I'll be right back."

Left stood in her office he debated leaving but the opportunity to snoop was far too tempting. Biting his lip with curiosity he double checked how far away she was before rushing over to her desk. It was more unorganised than it's usual perfected state but gathering by her behaviour at the moment he was hardly surprised. It was almost as if she was present in physical form but her mind was completely absent, nevertheless, she was still fully functioning with her work. He continued to allow his eyes to scan over the many papers and documents laying on her desk when one in particular caught his eye. Glancing nervously back at the door before making a move, he reached down slowly and pulled the small A5 pamphlet up and studied it closely. He couldn't refrain from letting his mouth gape as he whispered the words to himself.

"In memory of William Chase."

As soon as she told him once again to leave her alone she hung up the phone angrily and headed back into her office. To her surprise he was still stood in there, this time more comfortably as he rested against a filing cabinet.

"I'm sorry, was there something else you needed, I have a lot of work to do."

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Not catching on straight away she motioned to get past him to return to her seat but he stood firmly in her way.

"About your Dad, Connie."

Her face froze, realising he'd been rummaging through her desk items. This was something he obviously felt quite comfortable doing, much to her annoyance. Deep down she wanted to be angry, she really did but finding the energy to yell was just not happening right now. It was all too much and she was tired of carrying everything on her own two shoulders. Once again feeling the tears balancing on her bottom lid she avoided eye contact immediately, stepping backwards as he spoke again.

"You've been doing this on your own, haven't you?"

"I had no choice, I'm the only family member left. There is nobody else." She flicked a single tear away before it had chance to reach her jawline.

"When is it? The funeral I mean."

"Tomorrow, I'm heading down to London in the morning. That's why I-"

"You asked me to take Grace, I know." He completed her sentence before setting the sheet of paper down. "I'm really sorry, I can't imagine what you're going through right now."

"It's fine." Her response was emotionless, despite the tears. "I hardly knew him anyway." Looking down bleakly she moved past him and sat behind her desk again, this time he let her get past.

"You're not going alone, are you?"

"Well, to be honest, I think I'll be the only one attending. He wasn't a very popular man, my father." She smiled. "Bit like me, I guess."

"I'm sure if Elliot knew what was going on he'd be putting all surgeries on hold and escorting you down there himself, you know?" He could see straight through this brave face she was putting on. Elliot was right, the hard exterior really was just an armour. A way of protecting herself from others, probing him to question whatever must have have happened to her in the past to make her this way?

Her voice dragged him from those thoughts. "Yeah, well, I may have pushed him a little too far this time."

"All he wants is an apology, Connie." He switched positions, moving to lean on her side of the desk instead of the unstable filing cabinet. "It's either that or I leave Grace with my parents and I'll go with you."

"I don't need anyone-"

"Yeah, yeah I know. You're Connie Beauchamp, you rely on nobody, but sometimes it's just reassuring to have someone there. No matter who it is." He paused, letting his words sink in. "I won't let you attend your Father's funeral by yourself, especially not after what happened the other day-"

"Oh, please, not that again." She shut her eyes and huffed. "It was nothing! I'm fine now."

"You could easily have been driving when that happened, what then?! You pass out behind the wheel and risk your own life? Or even Grace's life? Stop running away from the truth, Connie! Both you and I know that what happened to you in theatre was an anxiety attack!"

"Look, I appreciate your concern but I have a lot to get on with." Becoming irate and impatient with where the conversation was headed she quickly got to her feet and brushed past him on her way to the door. "You can come get Grace at around 9, I won't be there but Anoushka will." Holding the door open she waited for him to exit.

Realising he'd once again pushed too hard he got to his feet, glancing at her regrettable as he moved towards her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose my temper...but the sooner your realise I care about you, the easier your life will be." His voice was soft this time, catching her off guard and causing her to tear up for the third time this evening.

"That's a phrase I've heard far too many times before, Mr Strachan."

...


End file.
